What if I decided to pack up all my worldly belongings and toss them in a U-Haul trailer and drive off into the sunset? I’d drive and drive until I could once again feel the warmth of the sun on my shoulders and a breeze in my hair.
I would throw away all my pants and fill my wardrobe with dresses. Every morning I would get up and put on a dress and not have to worry about a jacket, or mittens, or a hat. I’d leave the house with wet hair, my waves being dried by the wind as I drove around with all the windows in the car down.
My bathing suit collection would have all the prime real estate in my dresser, instead of being tossed and tangled in a bin in a dark corner of my closet for ten months out of the year.
I’d smile more. My skin would glow. I’d go to yoga as often as I always say I’m going to. I’d walk everywhere. I’d live someplace where I can walk everywhere. I’d go to the farmer’s market and spend long weekend afternoons sitting outside of a little hipster coffee shop, reading and writing and dreaming. I would have friends over and we would sit in the tiny backyard behind my tiny bungalow cottage and we would drink and tell funny stories and eat tacos.
My job would be amazing. It would be fun, and challenging, and creative and I would be paid just a little more than enough. Enough so I was never wanting but not enough that I was exorbitantly rich. I would sleep in on Saturdays and spend all day Sunday at the beach. Maybe I’d finally finish that novel. I’d write it while sitting at my kitchen table, a ceiling fan lazily spinning above me. Then I would go for a run just after sunset but before it got dark. Twilight. I’d run further than I ever had before.
I think I would be really happy.
It was eight degrees this morning. It’s supposed to snow again Thursday.