The excitement has worn off and has been replaced with complete and utter boredom.
Often while I was employed I would think that if only I didn’t have to work I would have so much time to get things done. My house would be spotless, because I would have time to clean. I would be in great shape because I would have plenty of time to work out and cook nutritious meals. I would finally write that novel I’ve been dreaming about writing since childhood. I’d take a photography class. Learn something new. The possibilities seemed endless!
You know how many of the above things actually happened while I’ve had all this time? None. None of the things. I’ve made half-hearted attempts here and there, but not having a job doesn’t give you more motivation to do anything. If anything, it gives you less. There’s no reason for me to wake up at any particular time in the morning. It requires, for me, at least, a great amount of willpower and coffee to convince myself to do anything more strenuous than sitting on the couch bingeing on Netflix. Without a job to schedule my day around, I’ve found myself without any kind of schedule or routine, and creating one from nothing has turned out to be harder than it sounds.
Another thing that has become a nuisance is requesting my unemployment payment each week. I really shouldn’t complain, since I desperately need that payment and I’m lucky to have it, but the novelty of requesting it has worn off and I find myself claiming it at the last possible second each week. I’ve gotten so lazy that the thirty seconds of “work” it takes to get the unemployment payment seems like a burden. It could be a lot worse – instead of having to physically go to an unemployment office I just have to log on to a website and tell them yes, I am still unemployed and yes, I am still looking for a job.
Looking for a job has also lost the excitement factor. At the beginning of my job hunt, every posting was like a shiny new opportunity full of potential. Now, the decent job listings feel like they’re few and far between and none of them even sound remotely appealing. All the drive and determination I felt at the beginning of my job hunt is slowly fading away.
Basically, being unemployed has gone from making me feel like the world is my oyster to making me feel like the laziest human on the planet. The last few weeks I’ve at least tried to go to bed around the same time and set an alarm for the same time in the morning, which has helped immensely, but I still go through periods where I’m at a loss as to what to do with myself. At this point I can’t wait to find a job just so I have something to do.