K: I really want to go to Europe.
Don: Me too! I’ve been wanting to go FOREVER.
K: I don’t know why you’re waiting so long. Why don’t you just go?
Don: Uh, because it’s expensive?
K: You go to Aruba twice a year. Pretty sure if you skipped that you could go to Europe.
Don: I would feel really bad going to Europe with just you, that wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the family.
K: Oh god, no. I would never go to Europe with just you!
Both: cackle-laugh, imaging what a nightmare that would be.
K: Besides, I don’t want to go to the same parts of Europe as you. I want to go to London.
Don: Oh, yuck, no.
K: And Amsterdam.
Don: Why! Because there’s drugs! You’re a druggie!
K: No, because waffles. And canals.
Don: You’re going to Amsterdam for waffles? I don’t believe you. They have a red light district!
K: [sighs, ignores Don’s comment] I’d like to fly to Amsterdam, take a train to somewhere else, and then go to England.
Don: Oh now that sounds fun!
K: But you can’t take a train to England. I’d have to fly for that part I think.
Don: You can too take a train to England!
K: No you can’t, it’s an island.
Don: [shocked] WHAT?!
K: Yes. It’s not attached to the rest of Europe. Let me see your Kindle, I’ll show you.
Don: I don’t have a map on my Kindle!
K: No, I was just going to Google it.
Don: I don’t have Google on my Kindle!
K: Yes, you do. You have to go to the Internet.
Don: What! I can go online with my Kindle!
K: Yes! [shows her how. shows her how again. let’s her try it herself. shows her how yet again.]
K: See? It’s an island.
Don: Wow, I didn’t know that. You know where else I’d like to go? China.
K: Seriously? I have no interest. I’d like to go to Australia.
Don: Oh that’s too far!
K: Not that much further than China!
Don: Oh my god, you’re crazy, they’re not even near each other!
K: They’re not THAT far away. [pulls up China on the map]
Don: [completely and genuinely shocked] Oh my god! That’s where China is!? My mind is blown.
K: [laughing hysterically] Where did you think it was?
Don: I don’t know! Not there!
K: [scrolls out on the map] Yes, here’s China, and then England is way over here.
Don: [really just beside herself] ENGLAND IS NEXT TO US?! Like, it’s right across this water?!
K: [laughing so hard I can’t breathe] The Atlantic Ocean!? Yes! It’s “right across from us”!
Don: I thought it was on the other side! Like you go to California first!
K: No, that’s how you would get to China. I mean, you could keep going past China but that would take forever.
Don: No that’s stupid! It’s just right there!
K: That’s why they say “across the pond”.
Don: I didn’t think anything was next to us! I honestly thought it was all on the other side. [Note: by “the other side” she means the West Coast side of the US. We live on the East Coast, obviously. Making England “just across from us!”]
K: You didn’t think anything was next to us?! You know the world is round, right?
Don: I just never thought about it, I guess.
K: [picks up phone, texts G] Just had epic convo with Don. She didn’t know where Europe was.
G: Well. I mean I don’t know EXACTLY where it is.