Category Archives: Conversations

Conversations with N: Underwear

Scene: Last night, watching the Harry Potter marathon on ABC Family. It was a commercial so I was looking down at my phone and not paying attention to the TV.

N: I wish my underwear fit like that.

K: [still not looking up at the TV] Fit like what?

N: All fitted with no lines or anything…they look so comfy.

K: Well what kind of underwear were they? Go buy some for yourself.

N: They’re ladies underwear.

Do we think this whole Caitlyn Jenner thing is having an affect on him? I’ll let you guys know if he starts wearing my underwear.

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Winter Getaway

In lieu of gifts this year, N and I decided to take a little winter trip. He was on vacation the week before Christmas, and I was on vacation the week of Christmas, so I just extended my vacation a little bit and took Wednesday through Friday of the week before Christmas off, too. A week and a half vacation? Don’t mind if I do!

After much discussion and stress and Groupon-induced mental breakdowns, we ended up going to the Mount Washington Hotel in New Hampshire. It’s just outside of Jackson/North Conway, and it is absolutely GORGEOUS. We got a good deal on it, too. Right before school vacation and before high winter season started.

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I love packing. It’s one of my many odd quirks. But it turns out I haaaate packing for cold-weather trips. So many layers! Everything is so bulky! One night away turned out in me needing a huge bag. It’s ridiculous. Winter is completely outside of my comfort zone. Anyway, I did the best I could, and we left Wednesday morning.

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We drove up through the mountains and were greeted with a nice view of our hotel. I mean, come on. I wish I got a better picture. It’s nestled in the perfect spot. The hotel was built in 1902? I think? In the very early 1900s anyway. It’s never been updated, only restored, so basically it’s my dream hotel. I love old buildings, you guys. I love them. The second I walked in I knew I would love it.

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And just to add to my obsession, the place was decked out flawlessly for Christmas. Like, that is the lobby you guys. It looks like the Titanic or something. There was also a giant fireplace with a moose head over it that I failed to get a picture of. One night was not enough time for me to fully explore and take pictures. Plus N didn’t seem interested (because he’s some kind of tyrannical heathen, obviously). Clearly this means I must go back.

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We checked in (there was NO ONE there, the hotel was so quiet when we checked in) and an elevator man brought us up to our room. Because the elevator was super old school and the door had to be opened and closed by hand. No joke.  Oh, and our room got upgraded. So that was a sweet bonus.

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Our room looked right out on Mount Washington. My phone kept focusing on the window screen which was obnoxious. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m surprised the windows even had screens. I wouldn’t think they would open. I guess in 1902 no one worried about people leaping to their deaths from hotel windows?

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Anyway, we settled in and I busted out our sweet beer koozies I got us at Target. THEY ARE SWEATERS. FOR BEER. I cannot even.

Then we napped and watched TV because we were on vacation and that’s what one is supposed to do.

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Once I reached the point of severe hanger we headed into Conway for dinner and drinks. We had a unplanned progressive dinner where we had drinks and apps at one place, dinner at another, and then headed back to the hotel for dessert and after dinner drinks. With a bit of shopping thrown in for good measure.

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We were told we could just sit in the lobby and someone would serve us. Well alright then! Someone was already in front of the fireplace, damn them, so we settled in on another sofa and had ourselves a brownie sundae.

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Thursday we woke up, checked out of the hotel (see, such a short stay!) and hunted down some breakfast. N is very familiar with the area because he is a snowboard freak, so he chose all our food locations. He did okay. I was underwhelmed with the pancakes. In his defense, he claimed he’d never tried them.

Bless his heart I love that boy to bits, but he could talk about mountains FOREVER and I’m like “yeah, another mountain, I saw one already today.” I suppose I can wax poetic about the beach for hours on end though, so I guess we’re squaresies.

After some scenic driving (including a drive through a covered bridge!) we headed over to do some cross country skiing. We headed into the ski rental place where this exchange happened:

Rental Lady: Okay, we have wider skis for beginners that will keep you from going too fast and be a bit easier to maneuver, or we have narrow skis for experienced skiers or athletic types. Have you been before?

Me: I’ve done this a bunch of times, but he’s never been.

N: Yeah, but I snowboard like, fifty times a season, so…

Rental Lady and I exchange a look.

Me: Okay, just give us the athletic ones, then.

She showed us how to put on the puts and snap into the skis and we headed out. I got in front (it was groomed trails, you literally just stick your skis in the groove and shuffle-slide along) and N is behind me. Within 30 seconds he is telling me I am “sprinting” and asking if I mean “to go that fast”. I wasn’t even trying. I am just THAT good. He fell twice. I fell zero. #winning

I finally found a winter activity I am better at! He was a good sport about it and didn’t throw any fits like I normally do.

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After that we headed towards home, and then went out for a lovely dinner to round out our trip. I’d rather have a one-night getaway than a material gift any day.

 

 

 

 

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Conversations with Don: World Travels

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K: I really want to go to Europe.

Don: Me too! I’ve been wanting to go FOREVER.

K: I don’t know why you’re waiting so long. Why don’t you just go?

Don: Uh, because it’s expensive?

K: You go to Aruba twice a year. Pretty sure if you skipped that you could go to Europe.

Don: I would feel really bad going to Europe with just you, that wouldn’t be fair to the rest of the family.

K: Oh god, no. I would never go to Europe with just you!

Both: cackle-laugh, imaging what a nightmare that would be.

K: Besides, I don’t want to go to the same parts of Europe as you. I want to go to London.

Don: Oh, yuck, no.

K: And Amsterdam.

Don: Why! Because there’s drugs! You’re a druggie!

K:  No, because waffles. And canals.

Don: You’re going to Amsterdam for waffles? I don’t believe you. They have a red light district!

K: [sighs, ignores Don’s comment] I’d like to fly to Amsterdam, take a train to somewhere else, and then go to England.

Don: Oh now that sounds fun!

K: But you can’t take a train to England. I’d have to fly for that part I think.

Don: You can too take a train to England!

K: No you can’t, it’s an island.

Don: [shocked] WHAT?!

K: Yes. It’s not attached to the rest of Europe. Let me see your Kindle, I’ll show you.

Don: I don’t have a map on my Kindle!

K: No, I was just going to Google it.

Don: I don’t have Google on my Kindle!

K: Yes, you do. You have to go to the Internet.

Don: What! I can go online with my Kindle!

K: Yes! [shows her how. shows her how again. let’s her try it herself. shows her how yet again.]

K: See? It’s an island.

Don: Wow, I didn’t know that. You know where else I’d like to go? China.

K: Seriously? I have no interest. I’d like to go to Australia.

Don: Oh that’s too far!

K: Not that much further than China!

Don: Oh my god, you’re crazy, they’re not even near each other!

K: They’re not THAT far away. [pulls up China on the map]

Don: [completely and genuinely shocked] Oh my god! That’s where China is!? My mind is blown.

K: [laughing hysterically] Where did you think it was?

Don: I don’t know! Not there!

K: [scrolls out on the map] Yes, here’s China, and then England is way over here.

Don: [really just beside herself] ENGLAND IS NEXT TO US?! Like, it’s right across this water?!

K: [laughing so hard I can’t breathe] The Atlantic Ocean!? Yes! It’s “right across from us”!

Don: I thought it was on the other side! Like you go to California first!

K: No, that’s how you would get to China. I mean, you could keep going past China but that would take forever.

Don: No that’s stupid! It’s just right there!

K: That’s why they say “across the pond”.

Don: I didn’t think anything was next to us! I honestly thought it was all on the other side. [Note: by “the other side” she means the West Coast side of the US. We live on the East Coast, obviously. Making England “just across from us!”]

K: You didn’t think anything was next to us?! You know the world is round, right?

Don: I just never thought about it, I guess.

K: [picks up phone, texts G] Just had epic convo with Don. She didn’t know where Europe was.

G: Hahahaha

[pause]

G: Well. I mean I don’t know EXACTLY where it is.

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Conversations with N: Past & Present

[Background: We were reminiscing about our teenage selves and the ridiculous crap we used to do. I will not go into specifics here because it literally makes me cringe with embarrassment to remember what asses we were. Teenagers are the worst.]

K: My 27-year-old self would probably be so annoyed with the teenage me if I ever went back in time and met her.

N: My 27-year-old self is annoyed by your 27-year-old self all the time. Maybe by the time you hit 30 you’ll be cool.

K: [hits N on the arm and screeches that he’s a jerk]

N: But I am such a funny jerk!

Now that I’m typing this I’m wondering what my 17-year-old self would think of the 27-year-old me. I wonder if she’d be disappointed? She probably would be, since I know my teenage self thought 27 was so OLD and SURELY I’d have it all figured out by now. Life never does turn out quite the way we expect it to.

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